Enough about f*cking Avatar already…

The year I was born, three great things were brought into this world: me, The Godfather, and Atari Pong. Thirty-seven years later, people still watch The Godfather, people still love me, but not a whole lot of people are still playing Pong. Thirty-seven years ago, Pong was the shit, the highmark of videogaming. Today it is an obselete joke, admired only by retro-fanatics and garage sale enthusiasts.

Enter Avatar.

Sigourney Weaver feels that James Cameron didn’t win the Oscar this year because he had a penis. She told a Brazilian publication that, “Jim didn’t have breasts, and I think that was the reason. He should have taken home that Oscar.” I sincerely doubt that such a commanding actress as Weaver would ever suffer from penis envy. Cameron on the other hand sucks and gets the lifeblood for his scripts from others so it is entirely possible that he does have breast envy.

Weaver then goes on to compare Avatar to Ben-Hur: “In the past, Avatar would have won because they loved to hand out awards to big productions, like Ben-Hur. Today it’s fashionable to give the Oscar to a small movie that nobody saw.” Well, it’s 51 years later and people still watch Ben-Hur.

Avatar and its stunning production values are not the future of moviemaking. It is the future of videogaming. Hurt Locker won the Oscar because it is a well-written and well-acted film. Like The Godfather and Ben-Hur, good movies will never go out of style; cool, movies on the other hand, disappear into gimmickry pretty damn quick. The remake of Clash of the Titans and Alice in Wonderland have proved that already, much quicker than I would have anticipated. A bad movie in 3-D is still a bad movie in 3-D.

Dances With Ferngully may have grossed an obscene US$2,712,444,933 compared to Hurt Locker’s pittance of US$42,079,220 but Hurt Locker will stand the test of time. Good stories always do. Speaking of good stories, track down a copy of “Call Me Joe”. If you liked Avatar, I’m certain you’ll love it. It’s a science fiction story by about exploring the surface of Jupiter using remotely controlled artificial life-forms. It focuses on the feelings of the disabled man who operates the artificial body. Sound familiar? Fifty-two years after it was written, people are still reading it. Well, we all know James Cameron has.

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2 thoughts on “Enough about f*cking Avatar already…

  1. I saw Avatar last night and I was thoroughly bored throughout the entire movie. Perhaps if I had seen in 3D, I would have at least been visually entertained, but when it’s seen in old-school 2D, you are made to realise just how much it truly sucks.

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