THE PIECE AS ORIGINALLY SCRIPTED…
Friends, enemies, and Internet losers, I have returned. My name is Baron S. Cameron and I am wearing my pajamas. Why? Because I am lazy, today is Sunday, and I wanted to look extra sexy for the Wrap-Up today.
I had something else all written up but changed it when I saw an ad on my Facebook profile page that said “Young Women Want to Date You!” Can I let you in on a little secret? No, they don’t. How do I know this? Call it an educated guess.
When I was in my early 20s, I was the frontman for a band. I actually used to get pissed off when the girls in the front row asked me to take my shirt off. Can I let you in on another little secret? No one asks me to take my shirt off anymore.
I have a few friends who are beautiful, young women in their early 20s and it is nice to have them around. They’re like window dressing with brains and personalities. Whenever someone asks me if I’m “getting some of that,” I just smile and say, “You wish.”
There’s not really an age concern in my local. We just go with the “drunk” label and leave it at that. With that being the case, the gap between ages of customers is 40 years in some cases. But we are all friendly with each other for the most part. It’s only when an alien presence sees a 60 year old man talking with a 19 year old knockout that they seem to think that something untoward in going on. We’re all just friends.
I guess what I’m saying, is that is you need a Ferrari and a little blue pill in order for a young woman to want to talk to you, you probably shouldn’t be talking to a young woman in the first palce.
Even if the ad on your Facebook site says they want to date you.