The Haus of Boudoir Autumn Gala
I sent my lawyer the first draft of my review of the party thrown by Lola Frost and Little Miss Risk. This is what he sent back…
November 15, 2011 | Categories: Art, Fellatio, and Other Heady Subjects, So yeah, I'm into fashion. Sue me., The Loudmouth Bear Reviews (books, music, movies), [re]Discovering Vancouver | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, burlesque, Canada, contrarian, fame, fashion, food, Granville, humour, keefer bar, Little Miss Risk, Lola Frost, party, sillyness, Vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
Hair-brained Year-long Project #18284-F: The dress
Okay.
I have decided I am making a dress (not for me, thx).
I’ve always liked fashion. But I can’t sketch, stitch, cut, or sew.
I am starting from scratch. But with my library card, my passion for ridiculous ideas, and my mom’s sewing machine, I’m giving myself one year, 365 days, to design and make a dress. Why? Why the fuck not?
September 28, 2010 | Categories: Art, Fellatio, and Other Heady Subjects, So yeah, I'm into fashion. Sue me. | Tags: 15 minutes, 2010, art, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, fame, fashion, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, sillyness, Vancouver, waste of resources, west vancouver | Leave A Comment »
Border Towns: Myth v. Fact when it came to my passport[s]

Someone once told me that the United States doesn’t recognize dual citizenship between the US and Canada. That didn’t sound right to me. Guess what… it wasn’t. The United States most certainly recognizes dual citizenship between our two countries. You only run into problems if, when you became a citizen of Canada, you meant to renounce your US citizenship. For myself, I didn’t. In fact, becoming a Canadian citizen was a passive act for me. While I sat (or stood) doing whatever it was I was doing on my 24th birthday, I became a Canadian citizen.
I was born in the US – Greenwich, CT to be exact. I have often joked that having been born in Greenwich and raised in West Vancouver, BC, my snob pedigree is perfect. Both my parents are Canadian (born and raised in the Kootenays) so I was considered a Canadian citizen born abroad. Because I lived in Canada when I reached the age of 24, I became a full Canadian citizen.
When I applied for my Canadian passport, I needed a guarantor’s signature, and those of two references. For my US passport, I just needed my birth certificate (stamped with the seal of the issuing State) and picture ID. I used my Canadian passport. Which leads me to myth number two: The US won’t allow you to carry two passports.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Thanks for playing.
The woman at the US Consulate in Vancouver told me that when arriving in the US, arrive as an American. When arriving in Canada, arrive as a Canadian. That’s two passports kiddies. Surprised me too.
Lastly, though it pains me to say it, these idiot Tea Partiers might actually have something with this smaller government thing. It took two and a half weeks for my Canadian passport to show up and about two hours to apply for it. My US passport took me less than 45 minutes to apply for and arrived a week and a day later. Of course, when it comes to government, if the US can figure out healthcare and education for its (our?) citizens I’d be willing to wait another ten days for my passport.
May 8, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: 2010, America, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, conspiracy, contrarian, dual citizenship, government, Greenwich, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, Obama, passports, sillyness, Tea Party, United States, Vancouver, waste of resources, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
keeping positive.
The only thing worse than being sick is being dead - that and “Jersey Shore.” In an effort to keep my spirits high, I have decided to look at the upside and write about all the good things that come about as a result of the world famous, head cold. So, here is the silver lining that is slowly dripping out of my sinus cavity:
A) People don’t know what a sap you are: Because your eyes are watering so much, they can’t tell if you have a cold or if you just watched the episode of “Highway to Heaven” where the little girl with leukemia gets to swim with the dolphins after replacing her prosthetic legs that were lost in the horrible school bus crash caused by her family swerving off the road to miss Terry Fox running with a box of puppies.
B) Drugs: Nobody wants you to go to work and make them sick too so you get to sit at home watching the walls melt.
C) Better seats on the bus: These days one sneeze/snort combo and you’re riding in style with a whole section to yourself until another sick person gets on and your section kind of turns into a leper colony.
D) Lots of hot showers with no guilt: It was Mother Nature and her germs that did this to you so the bitch can suffer with you for a day.
E) Soup: Soup is awesome. Let’s all just admit this and move on.
F) Oprah: She’ll be gone soon. You better try to get in some “me” time while you can. See “A” above.
G) You have at least one day of bossing your roommates around: They’ll put up with you for one day because they want the same treatment when they get sick and one look at you and they know they will.
H) Cherry Halls: “Dissolve one tablet slowly in the mouth as required.” *Crunch* Next…
I) Pajamas: I have long been a supporter of the notion that one not get dressed should they not need to. Pajamas are the shit, even you have to have several pairs on call with all the joyous night sweating that goes on.
J) The Fever: Suckers all over the world shell out good cash for designer drugs to feel the way you do the night you have the fever. Fever dreams are so intense that being sick is almost worth it for that exact reason. Bon Voyage!
March 3, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: 15 minutes, 2010, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, evil, head cold, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, sick, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
Relationship advice
I don’t ACTUALLY freak out
it’s fine until I start thinking and thinking about it
I’m actually insane
March 1, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: 15 minutes, 2010, art, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, fame, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, photography, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
Did I mention I love mail?
Somewhere in New York, two women are laughing themselves silly. Maybe it’s because of the Valentine’s Day card – “I think the best time to get cards is a week or so after the holiday for which they are intended… It adds an element of surprise… Surprise!” – but I have a sneaking suspicion that it has more to do with the other contents of the package. The drawing, poem, and letter were greatly appreciated but their service to our wonderful city did not go unnoticed. Seems they, like everyone else in the world, have perceived that Vancouver is having a little problem with the “Winter” part of our Winter Olympics. I love mail.
February 24, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: 2010, art, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, Olympics, photography, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | 3 Comments »
don’t you gimme no lines and keep your hands to yourself
The following is a verbatim transcription of a chat we had this morning. I have the greatest friends in the world and I am determined to slowly prove to all of you that this is indeed the case. Deliciously out of character but a smile generator nonetheless. It is definitely the “cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat.”
Friend – :S
i feel bad.
Baron – why?
sick
or did you do something stupid again?
Friend – haha
read the link [to a review of a recent show, at which, she kind of started a fight]
Baron – your fight?
nice
Friend – i feel really bad
how stupid of me
hope that didn’t ruin her show for her [the reviewer]
Baron – Does she know it was you?
Friend - no
Baron – dare ya to tell her. Tell her why too! Some douche getting all pushy and feeling you up so you let him have it
Friend – i donno if i was right or wrong in doing that, but damn

February 16, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: 2010, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, fame, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, music, photography, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver | Leave A Comment »
another great view… only camera with an unobstructed view
February 16, 2010 | Categories: Art, Fellatio, and Other Heady Subjects, Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary), [re]Discovering Vancouver | Tags: 15 minutes, 2010, art, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, Olympics, photography, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, waste of resources | 1 Comment »
Ugly stuff
Okay, so I usually spend my days searching out beauty (well, that and stupidity). Today I have done the opposite. Hellachella, Queen of All Things Internet-y, is holding a contest to see who has the ugliest stuff. Below are my two entries (As a blogger, I’m allowed THREE but I don’t have a whole lot of ugly stuff).
Weird fish towel holder (I have THREE of these babies). When we tore out the bathrooms, I kept these:
I have no idea who/what this is supposed to be. Generally speaking, I find the Japanese to be a very beautiful people but I am at a loss trying to explain what the hell this is:
Check out Hellachella’s Ugly Contest HERE
What do I get if I win? This piece of sheer awesomeness.
February 12, 2010 | Categories: Art, Fellatio, and Other Heady Subjects, Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: 15 minutes, 2010, art, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, coffee and zombie movies, domestica79, fame, Hellachella, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, photography, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, waste of resources, west vancouver | 2 Comments »
What exactly is the point of having a restricted vision sign hidden in a bush?
February 1, 2010 | Categories: Art, Fellatio, and Other Heady Subjects, [re]Discovering Vancouver | Tags: 2010, art, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, photography, sillyness, Vancouver, waste of resources, west vancouver | Leave A Comment »
I’ll get by with a little help from my friends
“like i said, everyone is entitled to those SHIT days”
January 30, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: 2010, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver | 1 Comment »
bar stories
Is every bar story true? Of course not, but who really cares anyway? Movie director, John Ford, famously said, “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” A-freakin-men. Bar stories are meant to be entertaining and fun. People who come to the bar and only talk about downer shit should just stay home and sit around in their underwear drinking with their cats. Last night, during a bar story moment, a friend told me the best cop story EVER.
He’s about to get a ticket for drifting through a stop sign. The cop asks him why he didn’t stop.
“I slowed down,” is his reply.
“Slowing down is not stopping,” says the police officer.
“Close enough.”
“Get out of the car.”
He gets out and the cop holds up his Maglite.
“I’m going to start beating you over the head with this. Now, tell me: Do you want me to stop or do you want me to slow down?”
January 29, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: 2010, bar story, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, driving, humor, humour, John Ford, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, Olympics, police, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing, WVPD | Leave A Comment »
I love mail
Okay, so it’s really convenient to be able to push a button and have the picture of your baby throwing up on the cat be sent to everyone you know instantaneously, but I still like getting mail. I got this the other day:
(Damn good CD, by the way. Review to follow soon)
You may notice that the address says “King of West Vancouver.” I blog about this from time to time because, apparently, my ego knows no bounds, but in 1994 I recieved my letter from The Smugglers’ Fan Club and it was addressed to: Baron Cameron, King of West Vancouver. The fact that it arrived at my address sets the precedent that I am, in fact, the King of West Vancouver.
Now, the King thing is a bit of a joke but I still like to point out that even though Grant Lawrence started it 16 years ago, when I tell people that’s my address, that’s how they send it. My friends are just as nuts as I am and I love it. My personal favourite was one addressed to “Reverend Doctor Baron S. Cameron.” I’m an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church so, along with King of West Vancouver, it is actually my proper title.
Even if your letters don’t denote you as royalty, they’re still more fun than email. So if you feel like sending me a letter, I’ll send you my address. Which reminds me, I owe Jane and Lexi letters…
Jane (secret awesome heroine of this blog) sent me a puzzle letter the other day… kicks ass. Try sending someone a real puzzle by email! Can’t do it! So, buy a stamp and send someone a letter. You can imagine how you’ll brighten their day when their daily routine is broken.
“Bill, bill, bill, bi… Hey! A letter!” They’ll love you for it. Trust me!
January 24, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: 15 minutes, 2010, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, Canada Post, contrarian, humor, humour, King of West Vancouver, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, mail, Olympics, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | 2 Comments »
Eww.
I’m certain I’m dying. I feel like The Horta from “The Devil In The Dark” (*If you get the reference, you’re probably a nerd, btw). My back and arm look like someone double-tapped a freckled ginger in the brain stem then left his face on me. I’m sure I have leprosy, necrotizing fasciitis, or maybe even the Bubonic Plague. On my birthday in 1665, the first case of The Great Plague was recorded in London. There’s got to be a few pissed off ghosts out there somewhere. We grow posies in our garden every year but my medical shortsightedness stopped me from carrying them around in my pocket so now I’m doomed. Not because I have the Bubonic Plague, which I’m certain I do, but because I have to go to the doctor’s office. I hate doctors. Everyone hates doctors.
I’m not sure why people hate doctors. Because when they’re not golfing, driving fancy cars, or marrying gorgeous spouses, they do take the odd moment to help people. The only GP I’ve had that I ever really got along with was a short, East Indian woman who didn’t golf and whose husband I never met. From what I understand she sold her successful practice to go into Naturopathy which makes about as much sense to me as opening a chain of U-Brews in Salt Lake City.
I head out the door into a beautiful Vancouver day, more spring than winter. Why? To go the doctor’s. Yay.
I have a 10 o’clock appointment and I am on time. The waiting room is full and I chuckle a quiet “suckers” to myself as I stride to the desk to declare that I have arrived for my prescheduled, queue-jumping “appointment.” 25 minutes later, I must stifle a disgruntled snort as the receptionist tells some poor sod that he should have made an appointment so he wouldn’t have to wait.
No one in here looks sick except for a parapellegic whose sinuses seem to have declared war on her. The others are mostly old people suffering from some “old person” ailment that I might have by the time I finally get to see the doctor. Most people sit quietly, periodically checking their watches. Most…
One character you’re bound to find in almost every Canadian city, but seems to flourish in West Vancouver, is the Grand British Dame. They always enounciate every word as though they’re telling the story about the time they “met the Queen.” This particular one, as she berates the Muslim women behind the desk, probably for reasons other than the wait, reminds me of Basil Fawlty’s nemesis, Mrs. Richards, sans the vase and intermittent hearing aid, but if you’re familiar with the episode, you’ll know what I mean.
35 minutes later and my back is driving me nuts. I didn’t put anything on it this morning so that the doctor could see my blooms in all their glory. It burns and itches. It burns and itches like those times when you’re sitting by the phone trying to remember the phone number of the last girl you slept with.
40 minutes have past and after being paged as “Basahn Campbell”, I’m sitting in the examination room. I notice a stack of script pads. Shouldn’t really leave those lying around I think to myself as I notice the shelves are packed with boxes of syringes. This would be somebody’s gold mine. I consider making a joke about it when the doctor comes in, just to break the ice, but think better of it when I remember that I’m here to get my back checked out, not get the bum’s rush because I know just a little too much about drug seeking behaviour.
As it turns out, I don’t have leprosy, or necrotizing fasciitis, or even the Plague. I can’t say I’m disappointed but, as could be expected, my inherent Romanticism pervades all aspects of my life. Turns out the mosaic de yuck creeping across my back is Psoriasis.
*Psoriasis (pronounced /səˈraɪəsɪs/) is a chronic, non-contagious disease that affects mainly the skin. It is currently suspected to be autoimmune in origin.It commonly causes red, scaly patches to appear on the skin, although some patients have no dermatological symptoms.
Apparently it can be caused by genitics (thanks Dad), smoking (thanks Dad), and alcohol consumption (thanks Dad). I get a script for two creams: one to be used in the morning, the other to be used at night. According to the doctor I should be back to my usual white pasty self in 10 days or so. He also said that I should try to get as much sun on the affected areas as I possibly can. Good thing for me the Winter Olympics are coming in three weeks, otherwise it might be snowing.
Not being able to scratch an itch for 10 days might just drive me insane. Better leave Poe on the bookshelf for the next few days just to be safe.
January 22, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: 2010, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, doctors, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, Olympics, psoriasis, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
too funny to not share
(via Bryanboy.com)
“Chris Pesto, a student from Syracuse, NY, made this funny poster in retaliation to those homophobic bible-thumper protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church. This photo brought a smile to my face.”
Mine too.
January 16, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | 2 Comments »
da juice
Would you like a non sequitur with that?
“i think i’m really into orange juice right now”
January 15, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: 2010, Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
*no title
and his friend took a pic of my shoes, which, if THAT gets posted is going on my blog
(via Jak & Jil Blog)
January 13, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, photography, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
*sigh*
i don’t jump puddles i run through them
and stop to enjoy the ripples
January 12, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver | Leave A Comment »
Thoughts of a child
This afternoon I was trying to explain to one one my students what “sympathetic” meant. He picked up on the “pathetic” part. I tried to tell him that to feel sympathy was to understand how a person felt. Always choose your words carefully. I made the analogy of running for a bus in the rain and getting splashed as the bus pulled away. Later, you’re driving and see someone else running for a bus in the rain and being splashed as it drove away. Because it happened to you, you’d know how they felt. “Yeah,” he says. “They’re pathetic.” How do you argue with that?
January 8, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | 1 Comment »
Not quite Facebook chat but I’ll take it
don’t even apologize. you are being far too canadian for my liking.
January 6, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, sillyness, Vancouver | Leave A Comment »
When life hands you ground beef, make chili
Unlike most of you, I don’t go back to work until Wednesday. Today would have been a great day to go out and take pictures or, at the very least, walk around. But I am stuck at home. My bathroom is being renovated and I have to sit here and wait for the construction guys. I’ve put together many a bathroom but couldn’t be arsed to do my own. (*phone rings) They’re not coming.
So what does a somewhat creative guy do when he’s stuck at home with a warring dog and cat and the need to explore? He cooks.
I’m still dressed in my pajamas. It’s kind of a lazy pragmatism. I’m not going out until later, why get dressed until then? My neighbours must get sore necks with all the double-takes they must do in the direction of my windows. Today their neighbour was taking pictures of himself making chili wearing his pajamas at 3 pm. There goes the neighbourhood. Maybe I’ll invite them for chili and be dressed when they arrive.
January 5, 2010 | Categories: Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, chili, contrarian, cooking, food, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, photography, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
Resolutions
“maybe that’s the cure
bam. no more drunk tweets”
January 3, 2010 | Categories: Cute shit my friend says to me on Facebook Chat | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, silly, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »
“…and your Sith name shall be Darth Lagerfeld.”
The dark side has won. It started simply enough, a copy of Vogue cast aside at the doctors office, checking out the “hot chicks” on “Fashion File.” Heidi Klum is gorgeous but not the only reason I watched “Project Runway.” Last night it finally happened. Someone who will read this blog entry knows it’s all her fault but she shall remain nameless, for now… Last night at a friend’s house party, I stood in her kitchen with a couple of her friends and talked… talked about…
Shoes.
When you think about it, I can talk about pretty much anything. But when I’m at a party or a bar, if I have to choose between NFL stats with a bunch of meathead fucktards or sit surrounded by beautiful young women talking about Betsey Johnson, just where the hell do you think I’m going to end up?
I’m straight but could never figure out the douche bags’ preoccupation with “fags.” Try to imagine me sitting at a table while the girls dance. Five purses sit on the table. “Hey Fag, nice purse!” rings out from the sausage party behind me. “We’ll let’s examine this shall we?” I answer. “There are five purses on this table which means I am sitting here with five girls. Did you guys all shower together after football today?” You want to know what really pisses them off? One of them tries to be tough with the “purse guy” who promptly stands up and beats his douche bag ass to the floor. Yeah, so I know the difference between a Chanel and Louis Vuitton handbag. I can’t still kick your ass and I don’t shower with other men.
My journey to the Dark Side is complete, my Master. Let the education begin… heh.
January 3, 2010 | Categories: Art, Fellatio, and Other Heady Subjects, Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary) | Tags: Baron S. Cameron, British Columbia, Canada, contrarian, humor, humour, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, sillyness, Vancouver, west vancouver, writing | Leave A Comment »

































The History of the Hipster
The common mosquito, in its current form, is over 95 million years old. Despite its many eons of bothering the hell out of others and the sad truth that it probably isn’t going to go away any time soon, we still feel the need to complain about it, them. This is not hard to believe of course; they are annoying as hell and generally don’t provide a whole lot in return. Some would argue the same could be said of hipsters. I’m deciding. Granted they haven’t been around for 95 million years. Contemporary hipsters can be traced back a decade or so. But, as I will explain, there have always been hipsters, the parasitic culture gentrifier.
A Time article, written almost a year ago to the day, outlines the modern hipster. Dan Fletcher describes them as “smug, full of contradictions and, ultimately, the dead end of Western civilization.” This may be a bit harsh, but it’s not the first time it has been said.
Herb Caen, a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle, coined the term “beatnik” in 1958. Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg were not amused. If you read the Beat writers’ work, you’d know they almost always had jobs and worked very hard to play very hard. Kerouac was admitted to Columbia on a football scholarship, a strange crossover for the King of the Beats. They did not create a scene, but drew attention to it. This is the invitation, the opening of the door that beckons to all the hipsters. In a letter to the New York Times Ginsberg wrote, “if the beatniks and not the illuminated Beat poets overrun this country, they will have been created not by Kerouac but by industries of mass communication which continue to brainwash men.” When Ginsberg wrote of “Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,” I suspect he was referring to those who came before, those who were the scene, not the ones who made it. Even the French Revolution was going along swimmingly until Maximillien Robespierre hijacked the Committee for Public Safety and kind of ruined it for everyone. Hipsters have existed everywhere.
The term “hip” is from the jazz clubs of the 30s and 40s. Before that, the etymology becomes a little hazy. Suffice it to say, to be “hip” meant that you were in the know. To be “in the know” now is not very difficult, especially in the digital age, when music and image are swapped like so many hockey cards. I think what angers a lot of people is that the hipster culture isn’t a culture; it’s a flea market where culture is bought and sold. Fletcher writes, “…instead of creating a culture of their own, hipsters proved content to borrow from trends long past.” Indeed. I once had a 15 year old kid tell me that I was responsible for Kurt Cobain’s death because I “didn’t appreciate him.” I didn’t have a calendar on hand, but simple math revealed that he would have been two years old when we killed Cobain and not even an egg-seeking sperm when “Bleach” was released. That’s probably why I don’t remember seeing him at a show.
You would never go to the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C. dressed as a veteran if you were born in 1987. The Black Label Society had to cancel a show in Manchester because of threats of violence from a local motorcycle club. The club argued that BLS’s use of “rockers” on their jackets was an insult to any 1%er who’d actually earned them.
So is there anything actually wrong with a parasitic subculture intent on the lifelong search for cool? If there is, I blame Henry V. His Saint Crispin’s day speech called out all the “gentlemen in England now abed” and called their “manhoods cheap.” Essentially, if you’re not at the party, if you’re not hip, you suck and should think yourself “accursed.” Maybe that’s a bit of stretch. We are a society of consumers, of course, but cultures are supposed to produce as well. The true danger of a parasitic culture is not what it feeds on but how it feeds.
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, a sentiment first expressed in the 3rd century BC by some Greek guy, then it doesn’t actually exist except in the abstract. We must see it for it to exist. This would also imply we should look for it. But if our search only extends as far as what someone else has told us is beautiful, the buck stops at the “industries of mass communication” Ginsberg railed against.
Candace Pert was responsible for discovering the opiate receptor in the human brain. In a 1981 interview with OMNI she stated, “Heroin bludgeons the opiate receptors into submission, functionally shrinking them.” In other words, if we keep outsourcing our opiates (she also stated that most drugs have less potent, natural analogs within the human body) our bodies can lose the ability to use our own; if we never leave the house, we become dependent on the deliveryman. This is the danger of the cool-seeker who doesn’t actually look. Hunter S. Thompson takes a similar stab at Leary’s Acid Culture in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, calling them “a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture.”
I too am a cool seeker. I too am a hipster in some aspects. But I want to believe that I replace that which I mine from the depths of culture in equal measures. I write about culture and society not to hand down truth from on high but to inspire you to take up the search as well. As Shakespeare wrote in Love’s Labour’s Lost, “Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye, / Not utter’d by base sale of chapmen’s tongues.”
So we continue to swat at the hipsters buzzing around us. They’re not going anywhere though so get used to them. As for yourself, art can be art for art’s sake but cool shouldn’t be cool for its own sake. Cool is the blind faith of the unoriginal. At least that’s what I heard.
July 21, 2010 | Categories: Art, Fellatio, and Other Heady Subjects, Straight from The Bear's loud mouth (insane ramblings disguised as social commentary), The Loudmouth Bear Reviews (books, music, movies), [re]Discovering Vancouver | Tags: 15 minutes, 2010, art, Baron S. Cameron, beatniks, British Columbia, Canada, conspiracy, contrarian, evil, fame, fashion, Ginsberg, hipsters, humor, humour, kerouac, loud mouth, loudmouth bear, music, silly, sillyness, waste of resources, writing | Leave A Comment »